Give a Sincere Apology

A sincere apology can go a long way in preventing relationship issues, repairing damage done to a relationship, building a bridge toward reconciliation, and figuring out how to move forward together or separately.

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to make good out of bad.

Our behavior and words impact people. That’s a fact, not an opinion. If you’re in a position to apologize, something went wrong.

When people are hurt or offended, they can carry that hurt or offense for years. It can shape how they feel about themselves, how they interact with others and the quality of their life. I don’t know about you, but I know about that firsthand.

Giving a sincere apology requires self-awareness and humility. An apology is a way to let people know that you know that what you did or said was wrong or that you acknowledge the impact it may have had on the other person. And the most important part – that you are genuinely sorry.

Accepting an apology requires an agreement. It’s an agreement to let it go and not hold a grudge against the person. If you can’t do that, then you should accept the apology. More work and/or time may be needed.  

Apologies can go sideways when it’s really a back-handed apology. Kind of like a back-handed compliment.  When you include an explanation of why you did what you did or try to justify what you did, it doesn’t feel sincere. YOU are too big in that conversation. 

Think about it. The person on the receiving end is left trying to figure out if you are really apologizing or just trying to justify your actions. That’s a separate conversation that can happen at another time. Your apology needs to be for the other person.

And just a reminder - You can only give a sincere apology for something that is your responsibility.  You can’t take responsibility for another person’s actions.

Here's an example of how to offer a sincere apology:

"Hayden, I want to apologize to you for being letting my emotions get the best of me yesterday. I’m sorry. I know it was hurtful, disrespectful and didn’t help our relationship. I deeply apologize. Please consider accepting my apology."

You can ask the person to accept the apology, but don’t be surprised if they don’t. They may say no or that they need to think about it. You need to be okay with that. Remember, acceptance of an apology is an agreement. It’s an agreement to let “it” go and not hold “It” against you.  You may have to do more than apologize to get the relationship back on track.

So, it you’re going to apologize, be sincere. If you’re going to accept an apology, understand what you’re agreeing to. Both determine how you move forward!