Goodbye 2018! Hello 2019!

For the past 20 years, I have spent every New Year’s Eve writing about the current year and projecting into the future year. It’s an annual practice that I look forward to every year.

The end of each year has always been a reflective time for me. I want to honor the end of one year and the beginning of the next.  It’s just another time marker, like an hour, week or month. 

2018 was a transformative year for me. It started with ending my position and leaving the company I had worked with for 11 years. Surprisingly, the decision to leave was much easier than the ramp up to making the decision. So much of me was tied into my place of work. I wasn’t just resigning from a position and a company.  I was resigning from how I identified myself for 11 years and a way of life I was very familiar with.

I put the plan in place and executed it perfectly. The final known part of the plan was to drive cross country back to California, which I’d wanted to do for years, and this was the time to do it. I packed my car up, my husband took a redeye to Atlanta and at 7:15am on a Sunday, we started the road trip back west! We had to be back in California by Thursday because he said he was having surgery on Friday.

When we arrived home on Thursday, my sons and their families flew in from Portland and Raleigh to welcome me home. What I didn’t know was that my husband had planned a welcome home/milestone surprise birthday party for me. He wasn’t having surgery! I had been oblivious to all the planning that took place. He and his “team” did a great job of planning and executing a great celebration!

I knew when I left my position, I needed to take a few months off. I call it “decompressing” – the space between one position and the next. I really looked forward to having time off. I could get settled back into my house, have time during the day to work out and travel to see friends and family. It would be great!

At the same time, I was starting to get a little uncomfortable. In my 30+ years of working, I could only recall one other time when I intentionally took time off and that was when I had my own consulting company. It was doing well, and I allowed myself to take a 2-month summer break. Outside of that, I had the great blessing of being employed and taking the typical time off that comes with employment. By mid-February, I had a job offer from a company that had been pursuing me since December. I declined the offer because it was just too soon. I needed time off. I didn’t regret it, but I did wonder if I had made the right decision. After all, it was work, a good income and great opportunity, but the timing was off.

I also realized I was starting to go downhill. I had lost my identity. Having time off was great, but what was I working toward? What was I doing with my time? At one point, I clearly remember thinking, “what value am I bringing anyone?” and that’s when I knew I had a problem – I was depressed.

It was at this point that I began investing in myself. I joined a career acceleration program for $3500. I had never spent that kind of money on just me. The goal of the program was to give the tools and support needed to get your dream job within 90 days. I didn’t join for that reason. The free seminar spoke to what was going on in my head. As an HR professional who has coaching hundreds of people over my career, I knew this was a time when I needed to be coached.

I also began attending networking roundtables with other executives in “transition”. It was a big step for me because up to that point because, I hadn’t been a big networker. I did what too many people do – focus on the company they work for at the exclusion of developing relationships outside of their company and building a community of professionals that benefit them, not necessarily their company. I met many talented and accomplished professionals who suddenly found themselves looking for their next opportunity in a world that was quite different than what they expected. They had valuable experience but getting in front of decision makers and getting the job offer proved to be quite challenging.

I also attended a 4-week free executive boot camp. What a great idea for the consultants who volunteer their time to help executives dig deeper to discover their next opportunity. They get to meet executives who ultimately land in companies. The consultants then are a known resource. Brilliant! We met once a week for four weeks. Each of us were in different places in our transition and we supported each other in different ways. We also tapped into the many networking groups that met throughout Orange County. When I worked for a company, I had no idea these free resources existed. My world was greatly expanding!

All three of these (career acceleration, networking roundtables and executive bootcamp) were needed to usher me along my path. By June, I had applied to a few positions, came in 2^nd  for a VP, HR position that I really wanted in the healthcare industry. Not a bad showing, because healthcare is a tough industry to break into without prior experience.  

To be honest, I wasn’t really looking for a position for me. I was looking because it was the expected thing to do. That’s what you do when you're not working, right? I cringed when people asked me how my job search was going, because I was just going through the motions.  It was the weirdest thing. Conventional wisdom said I should be looking, but I wasn’t.  I would randomly apply to positions and go through interviews, but it never felt right to me. That’s when I knew I was being generic in my approach, and I wasn’t focused on what I really wanted.

So, what I did I really want to do? I wanted to write to inform and influence, coach to support and partner to achieve goals. I wanted to do HR differently because that’s what I feel I’ve done my entire career. How do I articulate that to a client because so much of what I do is based on their needs, challenges and opportunities?  It is not generic. It is a customized, personalized approach.

As I networked and shared my ideas, one person confirmed that doing HR differently as my differentiator and from there, I started building the website, hired a blogging coach and began developing content. I also relaunched another site (ClarityandWisdom) that had been dormant for 3 years.

It wasn't easy.  I hit many emotional roadblocks. I was surprised at the strength of the gremlin voices in my head telling what I couldn’t do. Some of the voices were from people I had worked with, and some were my own. I knew I didn’t want to get into writing about the technical aspects of HR, but rather focus on the practice of HR. My blogging coach kept telling me that I had a treasure trove of experience to draw from, but I kept coming up blank. I had a wall I needed to get over and a bridge I needed to cross.

It took a while, but I was able to push through the emotional roadblocks with the support of my blogging coach and a few others who kept encouraging me. Developing the concept of Doing HR Differently was more exciting to me than anything I had worked on in years. I was creating again and focused on possibilities. I was energized and everyone could see it and feel it. I was alive! 

Before I left Atlanta, I shared with a friend some work I had done as a consultant several years back.  I was amazed at how good it was and I acknowledged that I didn’t think like that anymore. He said, “You’ve traded creativity for security”. Wow! He was right! Now I understood why Doing HR Differently was so exciting to me. I was getting out of my comfort zone, stretching and challenging myself. I was getting back to my “sweet spot”.

But I had to bring in income and I needed benefits. I had a three-prong approach to finding my next opportunity:

1. Engage clients for Doing HR Differently
2. Partner with other consultants
3. Find full-time employment

It didn’t matter to me which took flight, as long as I was able to do HR differently. I continued to apply for positions, and I had 3 active projects I was working on with two consultants. Then, poof! In November, I interviewed for a full-time position and 3 weeks later, I accepted an offer of employment! It’s a great opportunity as head of HR for the US operations of a global company AND we are aligning HR to better support the business. Perfect opportunity for Doing HR Differently! I am so excited about my new role! I am truly blessed!

I’m in the 2% of people who find their positions through applying online and are called in for an interview. Every position I’ve had in my career has through applying online.  They have been great positions in different industries. So, apply and network. Be open to everything. You never know when your next opportunity will come or where it will come from. 

That’s the work side of my transformation journey. But the more important side, is the personal side. 

In my year of transformation, I’ve:

• Travelled more for pleasure
• Invested significant money in my personal growth
• Become an author (something I’ve wanted to do for years)
• Made more major household purchases than I did when I was working 
• Met many amazing people, several of whom I now call friends
• Lost 7 pounds and a pant size, just by eliminating empty carbs from my diet. Always good to take in pants versus letting them out!
• Kept myself on a level playing field with others.
• Developed stronger, deeper, real relationships with family
• Lost a beloved aunt who was a foundational person in my life
• Supported family and friends through losing their parents
• Enjoyed just being me and having time to think. My career is an expression of who I am.

Here are the life lessons I’ve learned, realized and acknowledged:

• A strong, active faith is the most important asset you will ever have. Trust that things will work out the way they are supposed to at the right time.
• Keep your whole life in perspective, not just focus on your current circumstances. Your life story unfolds over time. Circumstances change and contribute to your story.
• Acknowledge your strengths and your weaknesses (opportunities for growth). Exercise and build on your strengths. Grow from your opportunities. You will never be perfect. There’s always something to learn.
• It is what it is. Start there first, then decide what you want to do about it.
• Understand the influence of SHOULDS in your life.
• Be open to where change is leading you. Doors open and close for a reason. Be willing to go without necessarily knowing where it will lead you.
• Let people help you. Pride hinders growth and growth is needed to really live. Be a receiver as well as a giver. We all need help and support. Invite people to speak into your life. Ask for and listen to feedback. What can you learn?
• Acknowledge all your emotions. You feel what you feel, but feelings are not facts. Make well informed decisions that will serve you well in the present and the future.
• Give yourself both space and grace. Space to think and explore. Grace to challenge yourself and make mistakes.
• Invest in doing the work needed to be who you want to be, have the relationships you want to have and do the work you want to do. No one has your answers, only ideas for you to consider.
• Maybe the journey is the destination. I love this quote because if I learn how to travel well, I can go anywhere. If I only focus on the destination, I limit myself to that destination.
• The bottom line: You only have one life to live on this earth. One day it will end. We just don’t know when, where or how. We can’t be assured of continued good health, a thriving career or growing wealth. This is the reality we all face. What’s really important to you? Keep that in mind as you make decisions about your life.

For 2019 – I just want to keep it simple: 

Stay open to change and be willing to go, even when I don’t know where it will lead me. I’ve seen how it changed my life in 2018 and I want it to continue in 2019.

I not worried about the details. They will surface as I move throughout the year.

Thank you for reading about my 2018/2019 journey. There’s so much more to tell, but these are the highlights that I hope are helpful to you. Maybe you want to start your own practice every New Year’s Eve? Over time, you’ll be amazed how your journey has unfolded.

I’d love to hear your journey. Post it here on LinkedIn or on Doinghrdifferently.com or Clarityandwisdom.com.

Happy 2019! Each year is a gift. Unwrap it with care.

Terri